I want it to own me

I know so much. I can talk philosophy and theology for hours. I truly enjoy it, and believe it is usually productive. But my heart longs for more. I want the things I know, and truly believe to become so real to me that they own me. I can see a place where the things I believe in my mind, can grip my heart in a much deeper way, and I am longing for that more each day. I want to get so close to Jesus, that I hear the thoughts of his heart everywhere I go. Lord, increase my hunger, and satisfy it, I pray.

I used to be so smart....

This is a funny season of life. I am realizing how little I know, and how really uninformed I am. I have always been highly opinionated, in a congenial, loveable sort of way, but that seems to be changing. My opinions seem very unimportant these days. We live in a very complex world. I look at a given situation, and after a little thought, arrive at a conclusion about what is going on there. The truth is, I rarely have enough information to make an intelligent analysis. Its not that I am a dummy. I have an above average IQ, and a good mind, but most of the time, I just dont have all the facts. I am not talking about mundane things, like what is the best restaurant in town. We all have opinions about that sort of thing. I am talking about the bigger issues. Politics, moral issues, religious questions. The heady stuff. And how about other peoples issues? How often have I watched another person deal with a particular situation in their life, and then sat back and evaluated how right or wrong or wise or foolish their decisions were. Who am I, to think that I have anyone elses answers to these things. I know what I know, but there is so much that I dont know. Some would even question the idea that "I know what I know." I understand that position, but in some things, I know what I know. I know there is a God. I know He is absolutely good. I know that He revealed Himself in Jesus. I know that He will ultimately reconcile all the conflict and pain in the world. I know He will ultimately have His way, and that His way is good. But, between here and there, I am not sure how fully I really understand any of the situations I face. The scriptural commands to "judge not" are making more sense all the time. True judgement requires full understanding of all the contributing factors to a given situation. How often do I have that "full understanding"? Not very often. So.... at its best, my judgement is usually clouded with ignorance. This whole thing sounds a little melancholy, but it is actually a place of peace. I dont have to go around evaluating everybody and everything all the time. I am not in charge. I am not ultimately responsible. He has given me one job, one command. He calls me to love. Freely, extravagantly, sacrificially. Every now and then, he will call me to confront evil. But, most of the time, He simply calls me to demonstrate in a fresh new way the same love that He expressed when He went to the cross. Thats my job, to lay down my life for my friends. He can take care of the judging, and He will do it perfectly.

wrestling

It seems harder than ever to discern truth from error. Heck, half the world thinks the distinction itself is a mistake. So, you end up feeling guilty, or perhaps uninformed if you WANT to try and figure that out. Anything goes, they say, except one thing. You cant say that "anything goes" is wrong. That one idea will get you in a world of trouble these days. You're ignorant, a neanderthal. Oh, I'm not talking about the general world we live in. I don't expect them to understand, or see the same right/wrong distinctions necessarily. Its the church, the people who claim to be followers of Jesus. A growing number have become so intellectually sophisticated that they have to come up with all sorts of symbolic understandings of His word to avoid the embarrassment of being laughed at by the educated people of this world. "To the Greeks it is foolishness..."

Lord, help us to be humble enough to simply believe.

faith

Faith is all encompassing, a way of life. Its not a tool you pull out when you need it. The life God created us for is fully rooted and grounded in a trust in Him. Sometimes it is passive, a place of peace and rest. Sometimes its aggressive, a choice to actively turn away from fear and unbelief in the face of difficulty or danger. Modern concepts of faith are often shallow, and consequently leave us floundering in tough times.

Lord, help us understand what it really means to walk by faith.

Stress

Running your own business is not all its cracked up to be...

bondage

Its so easy to become enslaved, and so hard to break free. We cant do it ourselves, but we do have to seek the One who has the power to deliver. Even that requires Help, but He is willing and able. He met me this morning. It was real, and touched my soul. He is faithful. I want to know Him more than anything, but I am weak beyond words. Help Lord. Help me to show up every day. Help me to turn to you every time I hear the whisper of your Spirit calling...

getting started...

Okay....gonna try this again. My first post got lost in the ozone. Fortunately, I didnt say anything profound, so no big deal. Anyway, I just wanted to get this started today, so I would have a place to come to muse and vent and probably ramble....

We will see what comes.